I really had no idea. This is a trigger I would not have predicted.
Last time I went to the aquarium was on a field trip. One of those days when my co-workers could sense my unease before I did. Babies and families everywhere! Lots of school children too but shoot.
Yesterday I was invited to go to the aquarium with a bunch of my favorite people, Leigh, Jodie, Melissa, and their daughters. First of all, Sammy would have loved being the lone boy in that bunch. Second, I couldn't get over that fact that I *could* have had a stroller to push around (or baby to wear) in an alternate path if this had been a choose your own adventure life. Maybe one day I'll be one of those "spiritually mature" people who can say I would not change a thing but yesterday...today...not that day.
The aquarium is my kryptonite. I miss my baby.
Amen to your mama... I mean... all of this stuff is a part of living in a broken world. We aren't supposed to deal with stuff like this. So of course you'd want to change it. I would change it for you if I could.
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ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your pain, such a precious baby. Your writing expresses your feelings like a word-picture. I feel like I am in the midst of your experience with you. Someone once told me prayer is like our heart pressing in close to God's heart. Easy for me to say, but I encourage you to keep pressing in close.
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