Thursday, July 7, 2011

9 months - love hurts

"Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams."

"love hurts"

Today is nine months in heaven baby boy!

I remembered the morning when I told Sammy about the people he would meet in Heaven. I don't know when his little soul went to heaven but I felt the need immediately to tell him about the man who would hold him first. I just assume Jesus greets everyone upon their entrance to heaven *shrug* It was my first shower after the diagnosis and I washed my belly and cried...I didn't know if Sammy could hear me, if he would ever hear me. But I felt I needed to start telling him about Jesus.

It's oddly reassuring on days like today to know that my boy is chillin' with Jesus and all the people (maybe? who really knows?) that have gone before him. My Grandma Scrabeck, my great uncle Jim, a family friend Jim Brooks, my uncle Steve, my great grandma Culbertson...maybe he's found some of my friends little ones who have gone to heaven recently. I don't really know how it works but sometimes it's helpful to think about.

"What is hell?
I maintain that it is the suffering of being
unable to

The Brothers Karamazov


  1. wow, 9 months... hope your day was full of the same peace God gave you on the day of Sammy's birth. You have loved him so well, my firend. ♥

  2. I hope your day went ok.
    Milestones are always so hard.
    Sending lots of love your way!

  3. I hope you are doing well! Someone told me about a book called "Heaven is Real". About a little boy (I think 4yrs old) who died and came back to tell what he saw while in Heaven. He saw his sister whom he had never known about. In heaven she was a little girl, but had been miscarried and never named.
    I haven't read the book yet. Want to, but needing to be emotionally ready!! I hear it is a great book though!!
    Hope all is well! Love you!