Sammy at school and feelings

Wednesday I got to show some pictures of Sammy to my kiddo's at school! It was so natural and sweet the way it came up.

I get lots of pictures of my sweet Isabel and usually say "awww" and every now and then utter a "she's so fat!" while I squeeze my phone. (it's totally healthy fat and she's 6 months old so it's ok to say that AND she's 4 states away so she doesn't actually hear me say it...) Love her pictures. So (Principal A skip to the next paragraph if you're reading) during writers workshop one day while the kids were putting the finishing touches on their masterpieces, I got a most precious, chubbilicous picture and said all that up there^^. And then showed the kids the picture of Iz sitting in the grass, of course eating it, with her wonderful belly protruding through her shirt.

One of my students asked "Mrs. Lucido, did you take any pictures of YOUR baby when it was born?"

Me: "Yes, I did, I might have one, would you like to see it?"

And then lil T across from the little girl asking me the questions almost had a heart attack. Lil T is the student who admonishes them, whenever it comes up, that 'we're not supposed to talk about that!' I thought he was gonna pass out.

But I found a couple pictures on my old phone that I had taken the night Sammy was born and walked around the room showing the kiddo's the picture as they worked on their writing. Of course they thought his cheeks were the greatest :-) and loved that I called him fat too.

Little girl: "Mrs. Lucido - I'm sorry about your baby."

Me: "Me too, sometimes it makes me sad."

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I had a wonderful conversation yesterday with one of my coworkers about how all the life that has happened in the last year really has made me a better person. One of the biggest lessons I'm still learning is about feelings. They are what they are! Acknowledge them, figure out their root and there you have one of the keys to a full life.

It's not easy though...nothing worth while is ever too easy is it? When I'm acknowledging my feelings and what causes them, then I also need to have the patience and grace to allow the people around me to have their feelings...maybe it's just this grief process but I don't think so. Avoiding true feelings can become so easy, so routine, that we don't even know we're doing it. That I don't even know I'm doing.

Most recently, I have found that my irritation with *that person over there* is that they are exhibiting the same qualities that detest in myself. Ya'll it took me 4 days, Bible Study, Wednesday night prayer, and my counselor asking great questions (deep ones like, "why do you feel that way?" *rolling eyes*) for me to realize it. And then it happened *again* this week.

side note: if you know me in real life, all the **'s make more sense. I'm an expressive talker :-) user of my entire body to make a great point. It's hard to convey that over the www.

So to wrap up this amazingly scattered post:

• feelings are real, what caused them might be junk - it's worth while to figure that out
• I am irritated with myself sometimes and take it out on other people (ouch)
• my kiddo's got to see pictures of Sammy and that made me happy!

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged.

Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.

Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Give, and it will be given to you.

A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.

For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

He also told them this parable: “Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit? The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher. <---ooh - there's another lesson for me here

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."

“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

Luke 6:37-45