Friday, October 22, 2010


Numbering is the easy way out of figuring for smooth transitions. Now I've confessed and can be unapologetic about numbering my thoughts.

1. I'm not sure if it was the "Thursdayness" of yesterday and people know how hard that day can be (Sammy was born on a Thursday) or if it was all the Lord's direction or both but I g0t a few encouraging messages yesterday. It was a great day to know that people were praying because not only was it the 2 week Thursday, it was also the day we took the urn we picked out to the funeral home and picked up "Sammy". Again with the quotes because I tell myself it's just dust and the real Sammy is chillin' in Heaven. It's too much to think about my precious, squishy baby being anywhere else. Thank you for the prayers and thoughts yesterday if that was you.

2. I realized yesterday that I hadn't said much here about what we did with Sammy. There will obvs be a whole post about that adventure. We did not have a funeral or memorial service of any kind, it just wasn't something we wanted. We reserved the right to change our minds, but we didn't. I think I started planning his 1st b-day celebration the day after he was born so look out October 7, 2011!

In the interests of comparing myself to everyone else *rolling eyes, I know, I can't help it* I have to say that I haven't heard of anyone in recent years that carried a baby to term (or had an unexpected stillbirth) that chose not to have some kind of service. But I am totally comfortable and content with the decision we made to forgo a service(and to the best of my knowledge, Dave is too). So anyone reading this, who might not want a service, it's ok, do what feels best for you.

3. My mom leaves tomorrow.

4. We got a couple super sweet gifts in the mail this week. One from my step-cousin and one from some friends in Michigan. I love people remembering Sammy. My great aunt and my grandparents also donated some Bibles in Sammy's honor. I just got a pamphlet in the mail from "Heifers International" about donating $ to purchase a heifer (in some other country to people who would need it), I don't know why, maybe someone is donating a heifer in Sammy's honor. That makes me giggle. *I'm sure this is a fantastic organization, I'm not trying to make light of their hard work*

I need to go finish the picture books so I can get them in the mail today but I wanted to check in here too.

5. Oh! Look up! Under the title of the blog there are now a couple pages. Just click on the tab to read "The Soundtrack" - if you're interested in good music or the songs that I listen A LOT, and "Sammy's Birth Story" - kinda self explanatory. I will be adding a couple more pages soon...


  1. I want to learn how to make tabs! How did you do that? Oh, and way to update your blog. You are getting very consistent. In the days after Briar was born, I thrived on encouragement from sweet friends through email, facebook and texts. I hope you are feeling that encouragement. We picked up Briar's ashes after one week and it was so tough...we both walked out of there and just burst into tears. Praying for you today, and I'm glad to know Thursday is your day.

  2. Shannon and I chose not to have a ceremony for Desi. We donated his body for cornea research at WSU. A year later, WSU Medical dept. had a memorial that we were invited to. We chose to go, I needed closure. I am so glad I did. They had a beautiful ceremony and burial. My mom purchased a plaque for their memorial wall with Desmond's name on it!
    I invited my family and my best friend to attend with us. It really helped me to find peace in my heart. Although I will always miss Desi, I felt a new chapter in my life begin, because it was two weeks later that I found out I was pregnant with Gabriella!

  3. Brooke - are you on blogger? when you're posting a new post up at the top thingy it says "new post" "edit post" or "edit pages". I just started adding pages. I always like the blogs best that had a "Sammy's story starts here" or "this is Our story" spot so I could go back to those days and then catch up. :-)

    Laurie - I would like to share the *awesome marriage* club with Shannon and youself and since I have to be in the baby loss club it's my honor to share the "we chose not to have a ceremony til later" club with ya'll too ;-)

  4. That's why you were on my mind Thurs!! Why didn't I ever make the connection? I think I thought Friday was your day. Now I know better.
    You on my mind from when I was making breakfast to when I was driving all over running errands. I knew it was the HS so I just kept praying for you and that you'd have strength in whatever feelings and thoughts you were dealing with.
    We picked up lulu Tues and it was the hardest day of our lives. So happy it's over.
    I agree about not having a service, I think they are mostly for closure and I feel we have already had our closure. But we have chosen to do a service mostly for our family and church family. I don't think I could ever express my gratitude completely, but it's one way. Plus, I'm surprised how many people have been asking me if they missed it and they express they really want to attend. I've never even been to a memorial service, I can't imagine wanting to go to one.
    Heifers? They should donate chickens to a family in a 3rd world country in honor of sweet Sammy! ;)