Tuesday, April 19, 2011

blessings

by Laura Story

Check it out on iTunes. I heard it first when I was in Colorado, you couldn't buy the single then. I saw something tonight that reminded me of her and the song so I looked it up and bought it. It's one of those songs that makes me want to throw stuff (I don't know why I have always had this desire to throw things when I get frustrated...I remember it happening in church occasionally when my Pastor would make some great point or I could see where he was taking some particularly simple concept that I had never grasped before...I've visualized chuckin' my phone a few times after hard conversations...don't know if I've actually thrown anything since I moved away from my brothers *smile*.)

As hard as life is right now, I feel like I'm trying to get a sip of water from a fire hydrant when it comes to understanding spiritual truths. Especially when all I have to do is sit around on the beach and ponder the mysteries of life...so here is one of my deep thoughts from today.

What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near?
And what if the trials of your life are His mercies in disguise?
Blessings - Laura Story

I can't find the quote from The Shack but it goes something like "It might take 47 experiences for you to learn 1 important thing. And I am joyful after the first experience that there are only 46 left." (this is "God" talking in the book, and I don't know or think that this is a biblical concept but it certainly is a hopefully one, so maybe it is? *shrug* not my point today.)

Both of these quotes remind me that there is a short way to do things and a long way. Not to say that the short way is less painful, it's just shorter. Time to be brutally honest. I will tell you all day long about how faithful and trustworthy my God is. Have I always declared this? No way. I have some great friends who have partnered me on this journey and can attest to the struggles I've had with faith and trust. Ya'll, I could write all day about the multitude of ways I have seen God's faithfulness and trustworthiness evidenced in my life.

But if I'm honest...right now...today...after all this *waving my hands around at the last 13 months* I still question His love. Which probably means all that faith and trust I think I have knowledge of is sham-knowledge. Because what is all that knowledge without love?

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have faith that can move mountains,
but do not have love,
I am nothing.
1 Cor 13:2

So here's hoping I can find and trust the short path...I don't want to have 1,000 sleepless nights to know that the Lord has been near every one of those nights...I don't want to have to learn about anything 47 times *le sigh* and I am reminded that all this is not about the destination but rather about the journey. *le double sigh*


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