just wanted to share this picture...first I noticed the hair, who wouldn't love to draw all
those squiggly lines? Yes, my hair is that big. A few days later I noticed the
clothes. I can remember wearing black on black once and S doesn't
really have a skirt that color but she wears lots of colorful
skirts and boots. I'm thinking the picture
is more representative
ahhhhhhhh. today marks 6 months since the day Sammy was born.
In the craziness of life these last couple months my Sammy grief had taken a backseat. Last week it showed up full force and continues...the only thing I can figure is this 6 month mark. "they" say 6 months is one of the harder markers. I would agree.
I let my people at work know on Monday that it would be a rough week. I am soooo blessed to have people at work! Of course, if this was a face to face conversation you might hear the intricacies of my voice and know that "my people" are something special - not just the general population. *smile* I have people *sigh*. Let me tell you about them.
My 1st grade teammates. I could not have chosen better people to be on a team with. L works so hard and pushes me to be a better teacher (and person really). Her insight has been invaluable this year. Love HER. She has an insatiable quest for knowledge and details about all things important to her, we make quite a pair and let almost nothing go unanswered. *smile*
S...oh S...we are quite the same person. Last week, on a rough day, she asked me a few times if I was ok, I thought I was but looking back, she knew better than me how I was feeling. It's crazy to actually understand exactly what another person is thinking and how she will respond to the things I say because we are so similar. When she tries to explain herself, I can nod and say "oh, I understand exactly what you're thinking/where you're coming from". I don't tell her enough how much I appreciate her and value her and can't even begin to imagine next year without her.
My hallmate. *smile* Last summer when I was all huge and pregnant, I requested the classroom on the first floor (other 1st grade is on the second floor) which put me downstairs with the Kindergarten classrooms. J's mom died 2 years ago and she gets it. Again, it's a little creepy how similar we are...when she says stuff I'm like "yes! me too!" I feel blessed and incredibly lucky to have her across the hall from me. I can storm or sulk into her room at any moment and have a sympathetic ear waiting...and lately "I know it doesn't make sense, but it will get better. It just does." Monday morning she commented on my sweater, it was Sammy green, and I realized she didn't even know that because she hasn't seen pictures! Oh, it makes my eyes well up now. I teared up then, opened my eyes real wide, and said "I feel like such a bad mother, you haven't even seen pictures have you?" and went on to explain about Sammy green and his 6 month day approaching. SMH We will be those crying ladies at the restaurant on Friday night looking at Sammy's pictures.
Meet - my work people who are obviously so much more than my work people. I could write story after story about how much I love them. Yesterday I showed up to work and had a card and a box of Hot Tamales waiting for me and then L & J handed me a bag of food with all the fixin's for a great supper...multiple suppers really and some stone ground grits (I'm sure I will write about these after I make them, a-mazing).
I feel the love today. I am incredibly sad and missin' my boy but I feel the love.
"we love because He first loved us"
1 John 4:19