We're finally back. It was a sad last day in Minnesota as last Thursday night tornado's ripped through the my hometown, destroying hundreds of farms and the livelihoods of the people there. With everything that is going on with us and personally knowing the people who built, worked, and lived on these farms their entire lives only to see it all reduced to rubble in a matter of minutes, I continue to be humbled. I'm quick to think "I can't believe he/she said/looked/did that to me! They don't know what I'm going through right now!" and I am quickly reminded that I don't know what is going on inside people's minds and hearts either. It feels natural to go through life focusing on our own problems and thinking only about how to solve them but at the same time it's like opening this wound in my life has made me see that anyone can be walking around with wounds.
Wounds can be different, depending on how they were acquired, some more debilitating or deeper than others but a wound is a wound. Sure a paper cut hurts less and for a shorter time than say stubbing a toe, but in the moment of pain it doesn't seem to matter that some other pain is worse...I hope that through all this, I can become more sensitive to the fact that we all lead complex lives with complex issues. In even the most mundane interactions I hope to be gracious and thoughtful about how I respond and react.
*end tangent* :-)
Yesterday we had another routine appointment with my OB here in town. I made it through with no tears this time! And it was bring-your-new-baby-to-your-six-week-postpartum-appointment day. Lotsa cuteness in that waiting room. Thankfully I had something more important to focus on, my chipping fingernail polish. It had occurred to me the day before it could be a good distraction from looking around the waiting room but I really did mean to take it off...I'm happy to say I've only gained 3 pounds so far! And sad to say it's because Sammy picks and chooses the days he wants me to keep food down. Last night he had the audacity to kick me *while* I was curled up in the bathroom. Is it ok to admit I wish I could remind him forever how sick he made me?
Anyway - appointment went fine, and I was supposed to start searching for a new doctor yesterday but awesome AT&T was having service issues in our area so no phone. I took a nap instead. Sunday night I was reminded of a phone number I was given a few weeks ago of a woman who is a doula or midwife and decided I would call her first. Turns out she is the Pastor's wife at one of the many churches we tried out before we found our current church. So I felt she would understand and hopefully be able to refer us to a good doctor.
We had a chance to talk this morning and I am VERY encouraged. Wendy is going check with a midwife friend of hers (don't know her name, I'll call her MW for now) about her qualifications to deliver in situations like this. MW practices in the hospital system my current OB is in so that would hopefully make transferring care easier? We'll see. Wendy is not a certified doula but could play that roll if we need it
Another concern we have had is what to do about birthing classes? Wendy seemed to know quite a bit about how it could play out for us, reiterating information we got in Minnesota, and is willing to look up more information. I told her we would be interested in some alternative birthing class type information since we'd rather avoid the typical birthing class and she seemed willing to meet with us. So, yeah, encouraged.
Thank you for all the emails and prayers! I am encouraged each time I read about another prayer lifted up for Sammy and rest of us.