'tis the season

you know. or maybe (hopefully) you don't. 'tis the season of reliving my baby's birth and death.

It all starts with Amelia's birthday.  2 years ago I watched her mama dance the horrible dance I knew was coming for me.

As I looked over my kindergarteners birth dates this week I realized they were all born in the year I graduated college, got married, and moved to Louisiana (2007)...I realized one year I will look at birth dates and will miss my own baby heading off to kindergarten. I can't imagine how I will ever be able to teach that year.

It also occurred to me this week that it's like Jake knows. I'm sure there are other babies that seem bored at home and always want someone or something to watch. Maybe it's his age? Or maybe he was born to be the second child. He could have a crazy almost 2 year old brother to watch and giggle at.

I couldn't celebrate last year. Honestly it was one of the saddest days ever. And I was anticipating our first look at baby Lucido #2 3 days later...nervously hoping for a big ol' round head. I imagine this year will still be sad, but I hope, for Jake's sake and for my heart's sake, that there can be some joyful remembering too.

3 months

You're 3 months old buddy! Amazing. I feel like I've known you forever. This post *was* started on August 7th...

Your stats: 14 lbs 4.5 oz & 24 3/4 inches

I should really pick a format for these monthly posts and stick with it. *shrug*

The last 2 nights you've slept through from 8-9pm until 5am. It's wonderful! And a good thing 'cause mama was gonna lose her mind gettin' up all night *and* working all day.

It seems you've figured out how your bouncy chair friends work. :-) Mama keeps it on the rattle function so when you kick or hit the parrot or the monkey all the lights flash and it sings to you. You get quite serious about it. You've even been known to fuss at the little monkey that swings back and forth in response to your movement.  You seem to think it should happen the same with the frog that hangs on your car seat. I hear your feet and legs a boppin' every now and then while I'm driving.

In the last month you've started daycare and you seem to enjoy it. You smile at everyone when we walk in the door and you smile at me when I come to pick you up. I have my suspicions that every time you squawk you get a bottle so...I guess you would like that.

I felt my first belly laughs this weekend. You were tired and we wanted to show Daddy how much fun we have dancing. Otherwise, you're pretty stingy with the giggles. One time you giggled while nursing/sleeping. And I heard you giggled a bit at those girls you stayed with a couple weeks ago. We do see lots of smiles though.

You have found your fist. 80% of the time you will spit out the paci and suck on your fist until you have little raisin thumbs. You can rub your eyes even. Not so interested in grabbing things yet but getting those fists to your face consistently is definitely a new 3 month old Jake thing.

TMI? Probably. It occurred to me this week that even your bowels are growing up. I was getting concerned when I wasn't seeing poo every day. I mean, they would tell me they'd seen it at daycare but with in this last month you've gone down to 1 poo a day instead of lots of little poo's all day long.

You love the shower and baths too. Finally, water is your friend.

You really do think you're a big boy. Sitting up, or trying to, is your new favorite. No matter what position we hold you in you're wanting to hold that head up and look around. Half of the pictures from the official 3 month photo shoot are you watching your dad walk across the room.

You're wearing size 2 diapers, this will probably be your last monthly photo in a cloth diaper. You wear mostly 3 month clothes but some 6 month pants and jam's (pajama's).

Things you've been called this month: punky, punkers, punky pooters, punks, pumpkin, jakers, jake, jacob samuel (mostly likely after you spit up on a freshly changed shirt!)

I'm just tired mama. 'member those shots today? Not feelin' pictures tonight.

Love you buddy!

taken this week, but not *on* Aug 7th

back to work

day 1: where we goin' mama? it's early. 

The first day was the easiest for me. Dave took Jake to our friend Lindsay's house and I got ready with only the pups at home to keep me company. I must have gotten some sleep that night before...since that was almost 2 weeks ago I don't remember *smile*. I had Ben and Jerry's FroYo for supper that night while Jake nursed for an hour.

It's only gotten harder since then. Jake was with Lindsay and her two little girls that first week and he started at daycare this week. Monday I forgot bottles to pump into so I had to run across the street to the daycare a couple times to nurse before going home to get bottles (yes, his daycare is across the street the ideal situation since he can't stay with Lindsay indefinitely). Something didn't work though, I ended up with a clogged milk duct Tuesday. No fun. Know what else is not fun? Pumping. I loathe it.

I think he took a couple of days to adjust to both places. Then yesterday and today he fussed in the car  on the way and as soon as we got into the house he started smiling at Ms. Sharon, Ms. Allison, and whatever toddler was visiting the babies in the baby room. I knew he would love being around other people all day. Now we just gotta get a sleep schedule and mama on board with all this.

It's a crazy transition from pregnant to mama. We lived here for about 1 month when I found out I was pregnant with Jake. So when I think of school, housework, and life it all equals too tired and messy. Every night I'm amazed at how much I get done before "bed time" *smile*.

On the other hand, it's only been 10 work days and I'm feeling the pull from all sides. Teacher, mama, and wife. I've been disappointed that I can't do them all well. Already. I can't imagine how I'll feel in a few weeks/months when it all piles up. I'm averaging 1.5 breakdowns a week so far :-/ Every mama ever who's worked outside the home is my hero. And every mama ever how works at home is my hero. Don't get me started on mama's of more than 1 child. Super hero's. All of you.

one more pic, just for fun. he's discovered his hands can *move*.

a moment for new things

Hey - whew. Looks like I have a moment *cue fussing babe*

...

Ok - no fussing, here we go.

I sit down to write every now and then but Jake uses that as his cue to wake up. Much like when a plate of food is ready for me to eat - cue hungry Jake. He's got wicked discernment that one *wink*.

I go to work next week. I am excited to get back to it and watch kiddo's learn and grow...but I am going to miss (understatement) watching my own kiddo learn and grow. I'm pretty sure he will love being with other people. Every now and then he gets bored with this house and my face and we have to get out - doesn't really matter where we go, he just wants to be out. Our original plan was for him to stay with a good friend from church and her two little girls...then she found out she's pregnant. So plan b went into effect and he'll be with her for 1 week and then a daycare. Either way he'll have other kiddo's to watch, ladies to smile at, and fun new toys. Who knew a 10 week old could be so high maintenance? Anyway *bonus* the daycare is right across the street from my school. It's small, only 4-5 infants and 1 caregiver in his room. Added bonus: should I be able to escape for lunch I can head across the street to nurse my little guy.

Do you see it? In the picture up there? Red! Hair! It really looks more brownish in person, except on some days, in the right light, with the right clothing. Red. And it still is holding some wave. I can't wait to see how he grows with it.  See his fist there, I caught this picture at a moment when it wasn't lodged in his mouth. It's one of his new things this week, sucking on his fist. He spent a couple days staring at his hands and now it's *usually* up near his mouth. We do the pacifier thing but sometimes he'd rather just chew on that fist.

Week 10 *new things*

**sleeping basically "through the night" (9pm-5am, 8:30pm-3:30am, 9pm-4am)

**sucking on his fist

**laughing when I put a shirt over his head

**eating every 1.5-2hrs during the day

Ha - well, obviously, he woke up so I had to switch to a bullet type format. 

One more quick note - I am sad that I can't participate in the String of Pearls 3k/5k this year. I hope to return to it next year! And run! I was looking at my calendar for October and saw "Sammy's 2nd birthday". I mean, I know it's coming, but seeing it in print...

Sammy's Cabin

When we were in Minnesota, Jake and I attended a family reunion for my dad's side of the family. It took place at the camp ground that Sammy's cabin was built on. I was able to visit and take lots of pictures. Inside there is the name picture that my cousin Deshi made and a small write up about Sammy's short life. Pictures are taking forever to load (probably because they are so big and with all my expertise - ha - I don't know how to make them smaller) but trust me, it's an amazing cabin. I'm quite proud of my Dad for raising the money to build the cabin and helping see the project through to fruition.

jake's room...so far...

I like to think of it as a work in progress...mmm yeah. 

So. Here I see a blank wall, I think it is where I want to hang his birth info plaque and maybe a ginormous picture/canvas of some kind. 

That's the diaper stack so unorganized on the right there. I got that dresser handed down to me from a friend that received it for free. I gave it away about a year ago and then got it back. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to paint it. I had planned to paint it for Sammy...I used Annie Sloan chalk paint.  It is super easy to use. No sanding or priming, its low odor so I was able to do the painting indoors. Time will tell how I like having furniture that requires wax in Jake's room.

My mama made that changing pad cover and the crib skirt to match his blanket. I love them! Kinda babyish with lots of stripes. I have a thing for furniture sitting kitty corner in a room. With the placement of Jake's mobile it just worked. I can also see the crib from the stove in the kitchen, added bonus. 

I had different plans for Jake's mobile. I'm glad I went this route. It was a huge, gorgeously shaped lamp shade with ripped fabric so I was able to buy it separate from its lamp. I started by wrapping yarn around the frame. I found the balls at Anthropolgie at their after Christmas sale and they are dangling from plastic shower curtain rings that I had in my craft box. I wrapped the rings with yarn as well. A couple spins and Jake will watch himself to sleep. 

Next to the crib is the rocking chair and Sammy's shelf. I bought that shelf a long time ago in Detroit and it's finally getting some use. It's seriously moved 4 times with me. On the shelf - Sammy's star certificate, his name in found objects done by my cousin, a piggy bank, Sammy's birth information plaque, and his moon urn. Oh - and an air freshener from William Sonoma that is divine.

I didn't think I wanted a rocking chair but this one turned up for free. It is also chalk painted. Having used a couple gliders at different places, I totally have rocker envy and hope to one day upgrade to a super comfy glider. 

This is the big wall. I thought I would use the daybed instead of a rocker. I have used it a few times for middle of the night feedings and we've had one family (including puppies) nap on it but really it just collects junk - as can be seen here. 

The window frame still needs something...not sure what yet. The two black frames are old t-shirts that I decided would be cuter on the wall than on me. I think I heard somewhere that 30 year olds shouldn't wear message t-shirts? Next to that is a collage of pictures from Jakes first few weeks. I had some chicken wire from a previous project and have used twisted paper clips to attach the pictures.

That's the room so far. Jake loves it ~ occasionally he will only quiet down when he is in his room. Could be the temperature, we keep the vent closed so it's a few degrees warmer, or maybe it's just his happy place.