'memberies

Amos' birthday today. He's in Heaven with my Sammy. He would have been 4 today. I am remembering last year...crying and wondering what it would be like to have witnessed my baby's passing...and then the passing of his birthday...not just once but 3 times? It's amazing how quickly the heart can go back to such a raw place.

I find myself thinking of the oddest moments. The other day when I was laying on my stomach I thought about that first crawl into bed the day after Sammy was born, when I finally laid down to get some sleep. I could lay on my tummy and only needed 2 pillows! And then I remembered waking up. So distraught and so disappointed.

I read Stacy's blog and can totally relate. It's shocking to see the newborn babies around me reach milestones. I can't help but wonder about Sammy's every time. What would his first smiles and giggles have been like? How big would he be? What would that red hair be doing? It really shouldn't surprise me anymore but it always does when those thoughts burst into the forefront of my mind, seemingly out of nowhere.

Happy Birthday Amos. You'll always be apart of my fall 'memberies.