15 days

It's been a whirlwind 9 14 15 days. If whirlwinds are made of feeding a baby, changing a baby, consoling a baby, and sleep...in that order. So much to say, I don't know where to start. 

I'm learning myself in a whole new way these days. I am one who loves my 8-9 hours of sleep a night. Who knew I could survive on less? *wink* Not only can I survive, I can keep an infant alive too! I've started to recognize the signs of extreme over tiredness and I think I'm getting better about how I handle it. The first few days it equalled a bit of crying and loads of self doubt. I was scared to take him home from the hospital (even though they weren't doing much to *help*). But my mom was here and I got 1.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep the night before we were discharged so I was able to get a little excited.

The next big hurdle for me was my mom leaving. She's a nurse and was my security blanket. She fed me, while I was feeding Jake, and kept our house looking great while I napped and cuddled my boy. I didn't even realize until after she left that I had to figure out how to fit eating into my schedule since no one was around to bring me food. It's been almost a week and we are still surviving, dare I say, thriving?? *smile*

Enough about me. 

Jake. 

In two weeks it has become obvious that he is growing and developing. My mom pointed out that his initial squeaky, shrieky cries changed to more purposeful cries with in a few days. He starts with a snort now and definitely has a distinctive *wah* to his upset cry. 

In the last couple days he has started seeming more intentional about looking into my eyes when I get up close to him. He has also started loving the Moby wrap...the Maya, and the Ergo actually. Something about being all curled up in a ball on mama's chest calms him down (most of the time). 

Jake loves to be swaddled. Our house is a bit chilly so he is often found swaddled and then wrapped in Sammy's blanket, minky side in. My boy also loves the sun especially sitting in his bouncy seat in a sunny patch.

He has a cranky couple hours each day. He's moved it from 12am to 9pm so we're grateful for that. Once he gets to sleep in the evening he wakes to feed and goes right back to sleep...except last night. I don't know if it was coincidence that I had some urgent prayer requests to lift up or what but he was up every 1 - 1 1/2 hours to nurse.  Prayers were answered and mama was tiiiiiiired today. 

I don't know if I missed it? Or if people never mentioned it...but nursing is not a simple task for me. Jake loves it, eats well, is gaining weight perfectly. See?

12 days old - headed out with daddy for the first time

This is how I spend my days - that is his blanket made by Nana. 

I think of Sammy often. When I was getting all checked in and hooked up for the induction the nurse commented on how quiet we were...I think we were remembering a short 19 months earlier when we had been through all that. It was hard to separate and understand that our outcome was going to be so different. Our first night with Jake I spent some time telling him about his big brother. Dave played some music one our second night in the hospital and unknowingly pulled them from my Sammy playlist. They were calming for Jake...not so much for me in my sleep deprived state.  Right now Sammy's blanket is the perfect size to use as an extra layer of warmth during the night. Jake has his own blanket but it's a bit too big right now.

I know there was more I wanted to say...more I think to write about during the day but it escapes me right now. I'm amazed at how fast the days are going by with the little that I feel like I'm getting done. Regardless, I am focused on enjoying my baby, holding him, loving him, and soaking it all up.