Starry Night

It's taken two bitter drafts to get to this post...here's hoping that's all worked out.

Thanks to everyone who left encouragement here yesterday or emailed, facebooked, or texted me some...SMH, typing that last sentence is when I realized just how much encouragement I did receive yesterday. I've recognized the Lord's faithfulness to provide a husband and friends to drag me out of my sadness. After a short poutfest with Lindsay this morning, we were able to remember many of the positive things that Sammy accomplished in his short life and that helps me. Yes, I count his 10 months of womb time as life. I don't feel bad about being sad or pouting, I know it's part of the process, I just don't like it. I'm serious, we're 3 for 3 on days I didn't want to get out of bed but someone called and wanted to do something I would generally enjoy so I made myself do it (food/shopping, pedicure, a visit). It just took this 3rd try at this post to make me see all the other ways He's provided for me this week. Thanks for powering through my grief Lord...

I want to share the story of how we picked out Sammy's urn (hence 2 bitter versions of this post). But I don't think it's going to work out today so I will share a picture of it instead.

This is in the corner of our living room right now. Turns out there are about 100 reasons why choosing this moon shaped urn was the best decision for us. #1 being the rest of them sucked. LOL - I have avoided that word on my blog for *so long* because my mom drilled it into my head as a teenager that it is a horrible word. But it's just the word I want to use when I describe the entire event that is "the urn". So there it is, and there it will probably remain as the only time it appears out of a literal context on this blog. LOL

I decided to try and write for the 3rd time today because I was reminded of a song I heard on the radio a couple weeks ago. I only had this to go on when I googled to figure out what the whole song was: "moon reflects the sun lyrics". Riiiiight. Mad props to google for working that out amidst all the science jargon I was not interested in. The melody of the song annoys me so much that I'm tempted to get a guitar, teach myself to play it (again), and record my own unplugged version...then I realize I'm too lazy for all that and I can't sing anyway. But I love the lyrics because they remind me of Sammy (he has a star and his moon) and my hopes for all this mess (that we somehow reflect the Son).

Starry Night by Chris August

found his acoustic version on youtube! click on the title to listen to it

From the Birds that Sing, In the Tallest Trees.

To the Human Life, of you and me.

From the Desert Sands, to the place we stand.

He is God of All, He is Everything.

I'm giving my life to the only one who makes the Moon reflect the sun.

Every Starry Night, that was His design.

I'm giving my life to the only son, who was and is and yet to come

Let the praises ring, 'cause he is everything

'Cause he is everything

From the Autumn Leaves, that will ride the breeze

To the Faith it takes, to pray and sing

From the Painted sky, to my plank filled eye

He is God of all, He is everything

I'm giving my life to the only one who makes the Moon reflect the sun.

Every Starry Night, that was His design.

I'm giving my life to the only son, who was and is and yet to come

Let the praises ring, 'cause he is everything.

Hallelujah (Hallelujah)

Hallelujah

I believe

Ohhh

Hallelujah (Hallelujah)

Hallelujah

I believe

I'm giving my life to the only one who makes the Moon reflect the sun

On that Starry Night, He changed my life.

I'm giving it all to the only son who gave me hope when I had none.

So let the praises ring,

Ohhhh Let the Praises Ring