Today went well! My kids were great and have made amazing progress...I found out yesterday that first grade has made the most progress in reading, *in our school*. Very exciting. It was good to be around the kids and while their sad stories break my heart even faster now, their desire to learn and wonder in learning made my heart really happy today.
Then I got a text saying "when will you be home, I'll try to have supper ready" - except he said dinner not supper, I am apparently one of the only people in the world that says supper. And when I got home I could smell the asparagus baking. Before I could get away to change into my slippers I saw the flowers and he presented me with a gift. This Sammy green sweater, with a hood, hoods are my favorite. (shout out to Isabel, the one week old, I just realized the sweater sleeper I got her is an identical knit, only cream and a full body suit, we'll be fraternal sweater twins)
I had expressed some concern last night (that's code for: cried and blubbered my way through an explanation of why I was crying at that particular time) about how I didn't like that I had forgotten about Sammy for a while at work. Dave listened, tried to make me feel better, and then today went searching for a sweater for me to keep at work that would remind me of Sammy. I love it. I love that he will get supper ready for me (amazing, left over turkey, asparagus, and some special 'tatoes). He even wanted to make me my favorite coffee drink but I refused for tonight, I need 'early to bed, early to rise' to work tomorrow and coffee at 8pm would not be conducive to such a goal.
I have the best husband ever. I was just extolling his character to a friend on the phone last night...I'm really blessed (try not to be jealous). Just sayin'.
LOVE your green sweater and so glad school is going well! I have made it five whole days now and I am doing so well. It is therapy to be with them, although super tiring and overwhelming at times. I agree that sometimes I feel guilty like I forget about Briar. I never do...but sometimes I have those moments. Sometimes I feel guilty about the adoption or EVER wanting to try again because I don't want him to feel forgotten...
ReplyDeleteWow, I am jealous, what a husband. Reading your blog is wonderful, you are going through all the emotions of grief. You and God have done marvelously thru all of this. I am so proud of you. I don't know if you still send an email when you update your blog but I still don't get one. would love to;
ReplyDeletesalem@alliancecom.net
God's best to you, Paula
My Grandma says Breakfast, Dinner, Supper (daily meals in order) so you are not alone my friend!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I say dinner rather than lunch to refer to Sunday Dinner (Lunch). Oh my, is this making any sense! :)
Anyway, love the sweater.
hugs!
That color looks just as beautiful on you as it does on Sammy. Good thinking Dave! That must have been so good for your heart. (I think I am jealous! Shhh...) Thinking of you always, Stacy
ReplyDeleteBrooke - it is totally a good thing to be back at work. I think the timing was perfect. I do, however, notice I have changed...I feel like "baby brain" has given way to "grief brain" - slightly less debilitating but still a factor.
ReplyDeleteMelissa - I use dinner and supper interchangeably which confuses other people...I grew up having "lunch" twice a day meals went breakfast, lunch (10am snack on the farm), dinner, lunch (3pm snack), supper. 13 years of grade/high school made noon meal = lunch but I still say supper for the evening meal. I like to think I'm keeping a classic word alive :-)
Dear Melissa,
ReplyDeletei just wanted to say hello and let you know, that I read your blog whenever you write.
I think you do so well... even when it is impossible for me to imagine how we will do in January. How it might feel to go on without my little Valentina. But reading your words gives me confidence each time. Sammy is unforgotten even for me, and he won´t be forgoten ever.
The sweater looks great on you!
Lot´s of love from Germany,
iko