2010: God's love

2 days after Sammy was born I received the first necklace in the mail...and over the next 8 weeks I would receive 5 more. All from different people on different difficult days. Each necklace is unique.

Starting on the left is the 2nd "Sammy" necklace I received from a bunch of my high school friends. The circle with 2 pearls reads "Samuel David" and was the first one I got, from my brother and sister in law. My first "Sammy" necklace with a cross is from my friend/roommate/landlord when I lived in Detroit, Amy. The beautiful butterfly is from my step-dad's family. The square, pearl/aquamarine necklace reads "Samuel David", is from the women in my church. The last necklace on the right is from my first grade teammate, Leigh, and reads "SDL" with tiny angel wings. She knows the woman who made the necklace and I received the sweetest card about how the maker and her son had prayed over the necklace for me and for Sammy.

I hadn't mentioned the plethora of necklaces because I didn't want people to stop sending them *smile* I felt so *loved* when I received one and knew I would treasure them forever.

Well, *sigh*, 2010 did it's best to knock me down. Monday night a new challenge was thrown at me and it left me wondering what is love? Shoot. Human love is sooo messed up. The word is thrown around so callously and carelessly. I found myself wondering how I could ever understand or comprehend God's perfect love.

Then I got an email from a friend who's daughter Lulu was born with anencephaly in the beginning of October. We've exchanged emails a few times in the last couple months. She was emailing to ask if I had any necklaces that I wore in honor of Sammy...she won a necklace in some kind of contest, thought of me immediately, and wanted to know if I wanted it.

Just when I thought I would never understand God's love, the love that I so wanted to get me through this, He opened my eyes to the purity and voracity of His love. 6 necklaces? Isn't that a little excessive? mmmmmm, just like my Savior's love. Totally excessive. And unique and coming at me from all ages and stages of my life...I am so excited to see the 7th necklace but even if it never comes, it was the impetus for me to understand a piece about God's love exactly when I needed to.

Yesterday I dug down into 1 Corinthians 13 a little bit deeper. It's really not the light and frilly chapter of the Bible that people make it out to be.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Oh boy. Remember this post - the one where i confuse myself? i think? Tip of the iceberg. Little did I know. Choose your own cliche and add it here.

I'm sorry to be vague right now but I must be. Maybe someday I can share a bit about what's going on. Basically I need to choose love right now. I need to cling to these verses and make sure that the love that I am giving is not some cheapened earthly version. ^ that up there is true love. I have seen a glimpse of God's love and feel humbled by the amount of misunderstanding that I still have but that ^ up there is what it's all about.

God's love is perfect. oh I am thankful for that today. I am thankful for the millions of details that He can coordinate to show me His love in just the way and in just the time that I need to see it.

And I am thankful in advance for a quiet 2011. It doesn't even need to be good, I'll settle for boring. Please 2011...